by Vancouverite Nicole Dextras, at Walking Turcot Yards.

...

Because I needed a happy thought.

Anyone want some free convict cichlids? I have a breeding pair and about 20 babies that are now about a little over a half inch long.

You know what would be delicious right now? DONUTS.

Tulips are aliens. They wander all over the vases according to where the light is. It is pretty hilarious to wander in a room and have the tulips sticking in different directions from the last time you were in that room.

Someone I knew and loved very much at one time in my life, an old high school friend, killed herself May 21st of this year. I just found out today as R1 and I cleaned the tanks (really he cleaned, I helped where I could). Apparently, her parents disowned her for daring to live with her boyfriend and, as things do with boyfriends, things went south and she had no one to help her. The fact that she was valedictorian, or that she got her Masters, I guess meant nothing to them. She did so much, even though she struggled with bipolar disorder throughout her life. I want to slap her parents.

I will not cry, because it has been so long since I spent days with sunshine and laughter near her. I am sad because I will never get one of those moments back. I do know that it is an awful waste of such a promising, brilliant, gentle soul.

The world lost someone beautiful.

...

I wonder how regular planets are, as my world is so full of people so alive and filled with creativity and curiosity, but they also have the curse of depression and suicide. I like to think my world is filled with more people who are alive, but I think we all feel things more intensely.

So we've been married 5 months as of today. It is a happy thought. I'm still glad we are married.

My head is full of goo still, although the flu is gone. It appears it made me a present-a sinus infection or an ear infection. The world is dizzy and spinning, but more in the "my head is full of goo" way than the "I'm sick and feverish" way.

I called the doctor. Hopefully he bypasses the visit and just sends me happy antibiotics. For the record, I hate antibiotics. They tear my intestines into gooey little pieces and make me unable to digest food, so I've got to be pretty unhappy to call a doctor.

And yes, I'm at work anyway. Yes, I drove. It is only a little over a mile to get here-I could concentrate for that long. I can work while dizzy-just not spin, dance, jump, climb, or operate heavy machinery. =P

I joined the community unsentletters last week, and unjoined them today.

It seemed romantic, and a quarter of the letters are romantic hopes and dreams.

The rest though are rants, and I don't need those in my daily readings.

(taken by Justin Dodd)

Got a flu (no idea which-if I'm still ill in three days, hello doctor). Stay away from me, yo.

Who the hell ever knew toenails could hurt?

J is wonderful-he took my temperature this morning (orally) and cuddled me.

Tonight went far better than the past ones. I am very pleased.

So, in neighborly news, the husband called the neighbor in to animal control on coming home to find her puppies whining in an outdoor cage she had built for them in the snow in 30 degree weather without any form of shelter. I approved of this, as at this point it really *is* abuse, and all of our conversations with her that have been at all confrontational have resulted in her acting like a five year old child, so we opted out of that.

Yeah, she has a tarp on the cage, 9 feet up and the cage is against a wall, but it is chain-link and the wind was coming in both sides. So we've been ignoring the fact that she has her puppies in the cage for a while at all hours, but this was just too much. She has a dog house-UPSIDE DOWN, OUTSIDE OF THE CAGE. WTH?

This is the same neighbor who kept calling us in for leaving our dog in our backyard, not in a cage, with a kiddie pool filled with water in the summer and his own dog house in the winter on moderate-weather days-any sort of inclement weather had him inside. He enjoys a quiet life in our house now, where he behaves himself, doesn't eat our furniture, and is generally good unless his intestines are *really* unhappy that day. He would still prefer to be outdoors, but we got tired of having to explain the animal control people that she's off her rocker. They would take one look at the dog and his toys and his kiddie pool, roll their eyes, and leave, but it got really disruptive.

She's really mad. She occasionally just starts slamming her door. Repeatedly. For hours.

...

A shot from the first night.

Last night went really well. People scare me when they applaud me. I think it is hilarious. I was surprised to find munchies and water downstairs in the dressing room. That was excellent.

After my solo, they screamed. It was great. I can't wait for pictures!

There were sound/light problems, but I kind of expected that.

I feel much better today. Drama is slightly less.

Yay!

The weather-man was telling the truth when he predicted snow.

I was amazed this morning to go outside and find it dark and... snowing. I love snow-so peaceful and soft, like little kitten kisses left everywhere, cold and damp and gentle.

Normally, here, it does not snow ever until after October.

Unlike most of the world, I like fall and winter best. For some reason, I am more alive then.

It is Autumn again, and she sits quietly at the base of a tree, her back against the cool, rough bark, watching the leaves fall in surreal time. The swirl of colors, red and green and gold, are unusually vivid in her eyes, the soft rustle as they fall speaking in whispers of forgotten music. She is silent for this time, even her thoughts, simply immersed in a moment she thinks of as a memory, though it is real, watching the leaves fall quietly in the darkening light.

After a time she rises, tying a silk veil hand-painted like fire around the lowest branch of the tree. Inside of the loop, she slips a note. "I will remember you when I dance this Hallows Eve. Neither of us is dead, but it seems appropriate in the communing of ethereal friendships."

She silently watches it flutter for a time amidst the falling leaves before she turns and softly walks up the path.

I wish I could do this... but it makes a nice happy thought.

So my officemate moved upstairs to be more accessible to someone she works with continually, and decided to move up there. I was quietly celebrating because she likes bright light and I like dim light, and this solves my problem. I'm also getting more done, as she is on the phone doing worky things all the time and no matter how loud I make my ipod, it doesn't make up for quiet productivity.

She then moved her number up there and had a new number put on her phone.

Today she read the new number out loud. I blinked. I went ahead and called it to make sure it really was the new number. It was!

This number is... my mother's old number from before she retired a year ago. I couldn't resist-I'm moving desks. What are the chances that this would happen? FWIW, I work at a company with >7000 employees and probably more than that in phone numbers.

I then texted her to tell my mother about how I'm stealing her old number. She is completely and utterly creeped out.

I love it!

Sometimes, creepy is just plain fun.

*giggles madly*

It is a foggy morning. I love twilight mixed with fog about as much as I like twilight mixed with rain!

I texted my husband to tell him I want to live in the mountains, because my moment of breathing air in the foggy quiet was not quiet enough.

He told me we needed to get our future cars with 4wd then. I love my husband. So. Much!

In other news, we are taking off tomorrow. To do homework, and to relax, and to just have a good day. It will be awesome.

Lunch is at The Cube with co-workers. I figured I'd best eat some meat before the transformation to being disgusted by eating meat is complete. Mmmm... hot dogs wrapped in bacon!

After the great fish die-off of 2009, sushi sounds absolutely disgusting. J had tuna last night with his mac and cheese and just the smell made me want to vomit, and usually I love tuna. So I think my meat-eating days might be numbered, if it is this easy to push me away from my favorite food.

...

And as an extra bonus, Truface hasn't tried to contact me since I told him off. N was surprised-I sent him the last text I sent Truface so he would know for when Truface went after him for hurting his "friendship" with me. He told me that it means a lot to him that I had the courage to say what he couldn't.

So, the psycho started messaging me today. The conversation is as follows (texts):

Truface: What are you selling your house for? I have someone interested in buying it.

Me: I already have a realtor. Find it when it is on the market.

Truface: Who is your realtor?

... I didn't know what to say here, so was putting it off...

Truface: Or are we not friends anymore?

Me: Did you think I would not find out what you were saying behind my back? I bear you no explicit ill will and hope you find the help you need. You made your choice.

Truface: Well it works both ways i mean N said a bunch of shit you supposedly said but I didnt believe it but i guess your choice is to believe it

Me: I have watched you tear my friend into little pieces and like a piece of shit I chose your side. you did not break up with him. you chose to play your petty games and tear him down with GLEE. Now that I understand, I want out. I dated one of your kind before and no longer experience the social dissonance you are used to. I get it. If I am wrong, I will suffer, but I doubt it. Good luck with your life. I hope you find your way.

...

No response yet. I hope I never get one.